Feeling a bit crappy...

Hi...

I just paid Sallie Mae $115.16 which is all I can currently afford and is not even half of the payment I owe them for this month...

It always happens that whenever I look at all the money it took to get me this Bachelor's Degree (friggin school!) & I look at their predictions on how long I'll be repaying the loans (until 2024 at the earliest) & I think about being employed hourly & I think about thing that I'd really rather be putting money towards (a working car...)... I just want to walk out of the office and go home.  I want to run away and hide and sell hats on the roadside.

Well, not really...

But it does get overwhelming... why does getting a degree have to be so expensive? I mean part of it is my fault for going to a private adventist school, but seriously?!?

My chest is tight and I can feel the weight of Sallie sitting on me... She's such a jerk... I wish someone would pull a Fight Club on her butt and pack her full of explosives and give all us Post-Grads a much needed break.

I hope that doesn't sound too crazy... But that's really how I feel sometimes.

It's like Sallie said,

"Hey aspiring professional girl! You want to get a degree but you and your parent's can't afford to pay cash? No problem! I am here for you! And don't worry about how you'll pay me back. With your degree and your awesome smile you'll be able to get a great job and your payments will be chump change. I believe in you. Now go pass your classes and don't worry."

And then graduation came.  And months after graduation came.  And jobs got more & more scarce. Then you look up and you're working retail or some crappy part time job barely covering your necessities.  And here comes Ms. Sallie,

Sallie: "Hey graduate! It feels great to be all degree'd up right!?  I knew you could do it. Now let's get these payments going. I'm going to need... oh... let's say $500 or so a month to begin then as you work more, we can up the amount since you'll be making the big bucks.

Me: But Sallie I only make enough to cover rent, utilities, gas, & food with very little extra...

Sallie: Well, you need to learn to make sacrifices. That's what adults do. I'll be expecting the money by Friday.

Sigh... I was looking at my repayment schedule & thinking... I should enter the lottery and when I win, give it all to Sallie... Too bad that's not going to happen... I wonder if I'm in some rich relative's will... probably not... Maybe I can fall down the steps at work and sue them... nope... Oh well... It's the post-grad struggle I guess.  Such is life.